It's been awhile since my last post, so I thought I better pop on and give an update! Brighton sure keeps me hoppin' around here and I usually drop into bed exhausted with him waking me in the morning. Late-night and early-morning were my times to check email, read news and update my blog. He demands quite a bit of my full attention, and I'm more than happy to give it to him!!! There's nothing sweeter than waking up to a little boy smiling, kissing me on the cheek and telling me good morning in sign language.

He did have a melt down on Tuesday, brought on no doubt because I was sick and he didn't know what was going on. There's a stomach virus going around that includes a horrible headache and neck pain. My sister Tracy had it and thought she was dying, that's how nasty it is. It took me out and I couldn't function.

The girls took over, and Brighton didn't like the change in routine one bit. He REALLY did not like the girls telling him what to do and not to do. He wouldn't listen to Charly, she tried to translate what she was saying on the computer translator, and he kept laughing and pushing keys to mess her up so he didn't have to listen to what she was trying to tell him. I drug myself off the couch and let him know that I wasn't feeling well and to please listen to his sister. I did this twice before I told him that if he kept it up he was going to his room for a time out. He ended up getting the time out. It all played out pretty much like he was testing to see if I really would send him to his room because he kept signing, "no you won't."

He began to cry, then wail and moan. They were heartbreaking cries. I spent his time-out in his room with him so he would not feel abandoned and ended up spooned around him with a box of tissues. After about 10 minutes of uncontrollable sobs, he got up and went to his family photo album to retrieve a photo he had hidden behind another that I had never seen before. It was a photo of him standing with the entire orphanage staff. We snuggled there, on the bottom bunk, and he showed me everyone and told me a little about each one. I told him how sorry I was that he was missing them all and asked him if he wanted to write them a letter. He signed no, then hid the photo in his family photo album again. We talked about him minding and he signed he was sorry. We cuddled again and he gently pressed his cheek against my cheek and smiled. He was content to stay that way for quite awhile. We then got up when his time-out was over, and he went and apologized to his sisters. This was his first outward expression of grieving for lost family and friends in China. I'm certain it won't be the last.

Brighton has really taken to ice skating. He's actually getting pretty good at it. The last time we went he ended up falling on his elbow and it was bleeding in two places. He was a little upset by the blood, but just long enough to show his sister, gain her sympathy, and then he was up and going full throttle again. He wouldn't even get off the ice for a band-aid until the skate session was over.

Josh was here from Missouri over the weekend. He couldn't wait to meet Brighton, but was a little apprehensive around him due to the language barrier. I'm ordering a sign language program for Josh to do when he's not training. I hope the apprehension will cause him to want to learn to sign.

Dani is having a bit of trouble adapting to having a new brother here. She's not the 'baby' anymore and is having trouble sharing my attention. Every little thing Brighton does, she blows out of proportion, and I have to remind her of all of the things we talked about for the entire year we were waiting for him. It's a bit hard for her to think of the things he does in terms of something a younger child would do. even though he's the same size as her, he hasn't been in a family before, and he hasn't done many of the things a normal, younger child would do. He's having to go back and catch up.

One example of this is that she was in a tiff that he would actually get out of bed and play in his room at night. I had to remind her that she did the same exact thing when she was younger and so did her sister and brother. I reminded her that it was her idea years ago to get out of bed to play 'bunny hop' around the room, which resulted in Charly slipping and falling on the bed, splitting her head open, and a trip to the ER for stitches. I took her out for a 'date' to see Nancy Drew. I wasn't surprised that she hung on me most of the time. This is something she always used to do, until about a year ago. She just really needed the extra love and attention and to know that our relationship had not changed because we have a new family member.

I want to take a moment to talk about grieving. I really hope adoptive families understand how hard adoption can be on bio children. They are so eager to welcome their new brother or sister during the entire, long wait. This may change once the child is home. They may act out with behaviors we are not used to seeing from them, or act quite a bit younger than they actually are. Some might withdraw and become quiet and reserved, holding everything in and letting frustration build up. They may seem selfish and uncaring at times towards their new sibling. Telling them that they are being selfish will only make matters worse. A parent cannot expect adult behavior from a child. It helps to take the time to talk to them and to listen to their complaints without getting angry or jumping to conclusions. Quite often, the child will be able to see why they aren't being fair to a sibling, or are being selfish on their own while talking it over with a parent. We must remember that they are also grieving for a life that isn't the same anymore.


"...with God, all things are possible!" Matthew 19:26