Thanksgiving Meal at School!

Here is my happy, shining boy sharing his very first Thanksgiving meal with his class and the first graders who came to share also. He was really excited about the meal, and about everyone eating together. I'm so happy that his teacher chose to do this for her class. He turned his nose up when he saw the sweet potato casserole (something he does at home quite a bit) and kept saying no when I told him to try it. I put a dab on his plate and made him try it. His eyes grew very large, and he asked for a big helping! He LOVES sweet potatoes!


Our Thanksgiving at home wasn't what it usually is, which made me very sad for Sheng. He was able to share a meal in Hearne with his grandparents, but no one could come this year (no cousins) due to illnesses or being with other family members far away. He was really sad that no one came to play on Thanksgiving. This was especially difficult for me (Mom) after I told him for two months that he would be getting together with all of his cousins to eat and play.

Sheng helped prepare the meal and explained to me all of the foods he used to help cook in China. He said he wants to cook for people when he's older. After watching him in the kitchen, I have no doubt that he was very active in the kitchen at the school or at the orphanage. He tried everything we cooked, but decided that the sweet potatoes and the pecan pie were his favorites.

Sheng's vocabulary has REALLY grown, and it's amazing how much better we communicate. It especially helps when I'm trying to read to him. His face shows an understanding that wasn't there before when I read a paragraph from a book. He loves to ask me lots of questions about what is happening in the story, so he's more engaged in what is going on. It's so much more fun to read together now!

Sheng started basketball practice this week and was so excited that he couldn't sleep the night before. The poor guy wiggled and rolled and kicked and fidgeted till around 1:00 am. The evening after practice he told me that he was going to dream about practicing his basketball skills with Yao Ming. When I woke him up the next morning, I asked him if he dreamed about basketball and practicing with Yao Ming and he said he couldn't remember, but that he was going to try to dream about it that night again! LOL!

We've entered the "no" phase that all children go through. It's very strange as a parent to be going through this with a 10-12 year-old instead of a 2-4 year-old. Our bio children never told us no after their toddler years. This is one of those instances where Sheng has to go back and start over because he never experienced trying this on Mom and Dad as a little guy. The holding and rocking was easier (who doesn't want to hug and love on their child), but the no's and the deliberate disobeying at 10-12 are a bit harder to navigate.

It makes it quite a bit easier knowing why the behavior is happening and that it is a normal childhood milestone that Sheng must experience and get past in order to be healthy emotionally and to mature. If a little one can't or doesn't experience and get past these milestones as a baby or toddler, they are still going to have to get through them as an older child or adult. The tantrums are always worse the older the child gets. It's scary and sad to think about what happens to the children in abusive orphanages who are turned out on the street at 14, 15, or 16.

All in all, Brighton Sheng is doing wonderfully and has attached and bonded with Mom and Dad!!!! We are still working on bonding issues with his siblings. Dani and Sheng are the closest and do the most together. They play games together, make things together and communicate really well. They also fight the most too, but Sheng tells me that he loves Dani. He tells me about all of the things he wants to buy her for Christmas. When I ask him about Charly and Josh, he just shrugs his shoulders and says he likes them a little. We are working on helping them interact more and to pay more attention to their little brothers' feelings.

Josh decided on his own that he wants to take an ASL class at Blinn in the spring. Charly has learned more ASL than anyone in the family, but she hardly talks to him. (Charly is usually quiet around everyone anyway) The age difference plays a role as well. It really does take laying down some rules, making everyone sit down together to play games and to make time to talk in order to accomplish effective communication. Sometimes that means making them get off the internet, put the iPod away, etc...

Sheng has told me everything that he wants for Christmas. There isn't enough room on this blog to write it all down, LOL! I had to explain to him that he is only getting a few things and that he needs to focus on what the meaning of Christmas is and what he wants to do for others. We talked about how he never received anything for Christmas from the orphanage and how many, many children in orphanages and in some families everywhere will not be getting anything this Christmas. I told him that he is going to have the most wonderful Christmas of his life, but that I want him to think about what he might like to do to help other children less fortunate to have a happy Christmas too.